How to Maintain Bachelorhood

Step 1. Walk with your head down in the hallways.
Step 2. Never smile.
Step 3. Never meet new people.
Step 4. Instead of running, eat a bag of potato chips.
Step 5. The more socially awkward you are, the better off you'll be.
Step 6. Don't go above and beyond, stay average and plain.
Step 7. Never show any emotion other than anger.
Step 8. Remember, ugly sweaters and shirts are your friends.
Step 9. Drive a ghetto car that's held together with tape.
Step 10. Shower, because you don't want to smell bad, but choose a funky smelling deodorant. That way you don't smell awful but you do smell weird.